Ask what you do with what you have
Finally the devil is back again. It took me a while before I could gather the energy and enthusiasm to write an article on this blog. I am unsure if my sickness was due to the change in temperatures from the Bahamian “Pamela” tanning conditions to the Polarian “Republican” conditions that brought me down to a state of pandemic sneezing and drooling over my office furniture until my manager literally took me by the collar on a leash and dragged me out of the building giving me a paid vacation in my six by six feet bed. It was rather hard to do anything without coughing my lungs out and keeping my cat sane (as you know they are peaceful creatures that came into existence only to play the role of wrecks and hate to be the victim of one i.e. me).
So I spent a whole weekend in bed declining two offers to go to a Halloween theme party as a rock star (which might have been unusually easy in the state of condition that I was in considering my disgruntled look 24/7 with scrubby long hair that smelled of cats ass, pale food-hungry face that was whitened over time due to lack of adequate moisturizing, and most importantly under the constant dosage of Theraflu which always kept me on a pedestal just like how Homer felt when he was the first to reach the top of Mt. Everest in one of the episodes of the Simpsons. With a little bit of mascara I could have gone as Prince. That would have been a very apt thing for a Minnesotan), declining an invitation to a night’s dinner and punk rock bowling and declining another offer to go to a south indian restaurant to eat idli, vada, and ofcourse Sambar, and instead I ended up sitting like a couched potato watching the Detroit tigers loose the world series. I was also unfortunate to watch all the negative ad campaigns for the up coming election on TV. Can’t the politicians be a little more creative than that? Let’s not spoil our day dealing with that for now.
The reason why I took myself to the computer and started typing was something that got me thinking while I was driving back from work this evening. No, it was not an accident or a speeding ticket. This incident happened long ago, not so long enough that I can still remember and long enough that it doesn’t bother me anymore.
Even before I begin my story, I should give you a prefix to the story just to introduce a certain idea that might not be common in the U.S. Most Indians from India would have heard of IIT. For those of you who haven’t, no, the acronym doesn’t stand for Indians with Irritable Testicles. Upon conceiving, this is the university that an Indian parent often dreams that their kids would go to and is often proud to associate themselves in some fashion or the other. I have known mothers who fast at the time of pregnancy hoping that a. It’s a son and b. He would graduate from IIT. Fathers on the other hand, beat their sons just so he can learn a little more math to gain an advantage. God forbid, if the child was born a girl, then she will not go to IIT since the probability of finding her a husband who was more educated than her would drop to a mere 0%. Because, according to Indians, THERE IS NOTHING GREATER THAN A BACHELORS IN ENGINEERING FROM IIT.
It is understandable when you meet a snobby IT person admitting in a headstrong fashion that he graduated from IIT. But here are some unreasonable circumstances that Indians often love to associate themselves. I would put them in ascending order of the serial numbers and/or descending order of their self-respect.
1. Statement made by a proud father to the public at his daughters wedding even though the focus should be on the daughter: “My son went to IIT (his eye brows rising beyond his temples and his eyes offering a stare expecting the same out of the listeners). He then went to America and is now working for Microsoft.” That’s a stereotypical example of a proud father. If a guy achieves this status, he is the shit. Nobody can touch him. At this state, IIT will be virtually renamed Indians with Increasing testosterone.
2. Statement made by a proud friend at his college which is not IIT: “dude, my friend. Actually, my best friend (as though proclamation to the next level of friendship will add to the genuineness of his statement) is doing Mechanical Engineering at IIT. He tells me that they hardly study before exams. They must be studs man.” And of course his friends must agree because if they disagree anything that is even close to what an IITian said then they are EVIL and DUMB.
3. Statement made by a proud neighbor (of an IItian) at a party in order to authenticate his wife’s cooking skills: “Our neighbor’s son went to IIT and then went to IIM. He is a very good friend of ours and he keeps coming to our house because he loves Sheela’s food so much.”
4. Statement made by a stranger to reinstate that his house is worth millions or crores: “ You can get to IIT from my house in five minutes by walk.”
5. Statement made by someone who wished to study at IIT: “I was so sick on the day of the written test that I couldn’t think; otherwise I am pretty sure I would have aced the exam to get admitted into IIT.”
As you can see, there is a lot of virtue and value for IIT in India even if you don’t have a degree. They teach you two things: engineering and spending your teenage year’s sex hungry. All my life, people have been in my ass to prepare for IIT. And promptly, I have been enjoying life by not having gone through that. Now, whether I would have been a more successful person if I graduated from a certain university is like saying I would be a happier person if I had the same amount of money as Bill Clinton. One thing is crystal clear; I would definitely get a lot more sex if I was Bill Clinton than if I were to go to IIT.
Coming back to my story that kept me thinking in the first place. We had a couple over for dinner at our house. I only knew them through an acquaintance. And we were all sitting and chatting with steaming hot chai in our hands. During our conversation, the woman finds out that my dad went to IIT. Then she turns to me and asks: “So what have you done with your life?” I, on the other hand, instead of getting angry and throwing my hot chai on her made-up face so she can never look at herself in the mirror, burst out laughing. She was awestruck because she wasn’t that funny. That made me realize that among the educated Indians, there are popularly two kinds a. Ones that went to IIT and b. that wished they went to IIT. Fortunately, I am neither of those.
The American government often compliments the Indian system of education for giving more importance on Science and Math. But I appreciate the American system for allowing the individual to think independently rather than just following a herd of sheep to write software programs for bill gates. Also, they teach us to appreciate a wide set of fields which the Indian system doesn’t. In fact, if you didn’t study engineering or medicine or if you did not graduate from a prestigious institution you are pretty much considered a loser, unless you get really lucky and become a politician in India, that would be the lowest stature that any person can attain in a life time unless you have a beard and a blue turban.
As I thought about this incident, I became sad, not because I didn’t go to IIT, but because people’s perception of success and happiness are so skewed. But as I parked my car and entered my apartment building I heard two guys exchanging a conversation that totally cheered me up. Incidentally, it was related to closely what I was thinking. Yes, they were talking about sex and women, what else could it be, right?
Guy1: Did you watch the last episode?
Guy 2: Dude, I totally missed it. Fill me up on the details.
Guy 1: Nothing much to fill. I just hope my wife is like that babe on desperate housewives.
Guy2: Dude, even Clinton was not that fortunate so don’t even think about it.
Sorry Hillary, even with the face lift you don’t make the Lewinsky cut.
Bottom line, ask not what you don’t have, ask what you do with what you have and for heaven's sake stand up for yourself not your friend or neighbor or some random person who went to a random university.
Btw, IIT stands for Institute for Indian Techy’s, don’t count me on that, I might have forgotten the correct order.
So I spent a whole weekend in bed declining two offers to go to a Halloween theme party as a rock star (which might have been unusually easy in the state of condition that I was in considering my disgruntled look 24/7 with scrubby long hair that smelled of cats ass, pale food-hungry face that was whitened over time due to lack of adequate moisturizing, and most importantly under the constant dosage of Theraflu which always kept me on a pedestal just like how Homer felt when he was the first to reach the top of Mt. Everest in one of the episodes of the Simpsons. With a little bit of mascara I could have gone as Prince. That would have been a very apt thing for a Minnesotan), declining an invitation to a night’s dinner and punk rock bowling and declining another offer to go to a south indian restaurant to eat idli, vada, and ofcourse Sambar, and instead I ended up sitting like a couched potato watching the Detroit tigers loose the world series. I was also unfortunate to watch all the negative ad campaigns for the up coming election on TV. Can’t the politicians be a little more creative than that? Let’s not spoil our day dealing with that for now.
The reason why I took myself to the computer and started typing was something that got me thinking while I was driving back from work this evening. No, it was not an accident or a speeding ticket. This incident happened long ago, not so long enough that I can still remember and long enough that it doesn’t bother me anymore.
Even before I begin my story, I should give you a prefix to the story just to introduce a certain idea that might not be common in the U.S. Most Indians from India would have heard of IIT. For those of you who haven’t, no, the acronym doesn’t stand for Indians with Irritable Testicles. Upon conceiving, this is the university that an Indian parent often dreams that their kids would go to and is often proud to associate themselves in some fashion or the other. I have known mothers who fast at the time of pregnancy hoping that a. It’s a son and b. He would graduate from IIT. Fathers on the other hand, beat their sons just so he can learn a little more math to gain an advantage. God forbid, if the child was born a girl, then she will not go to IIT since the probability of finding her a husband who was more educated than her would drop to a mere 0%. Because, according to Indians, THERE IS NOTHING GREATER THAN A BACHELORS IN ENGINEERING FROM IIT.
It is understandable when you meet a snobby IT person admitting in a headstrong fashion that he graduated from IIT. But here are some unreasonable circumstances that Indians often love to associate themselves. I would put them in ascending order of the serial numbers and/or descending order of their self-respect.
1. Statement made by a proud father to the public at his daughters wedding even though the focus should be on the daughter: “My son went to IIT (his eye brows rising beyond his temples and his eyes offering a stare expecting the same out of the listeners). He then went to America and is now working for Microsoft.” That’s a stereotypical example of a proud father. If a guy achieves this status, he is the shit. Nobody can touch him. At this state, IIT will be virtually renamed Indians with Increasing testosterone.
2. Statement made by a proud friend at his college which is not IIT: “dude, my friend. Actually, my best friend (as though proclamation to the next level of friendship will add to the genuineness of his statement) is doing Mechanical Engineering at IIT. He tells me that they hardly study before exams. They must be studs man.” And of course his friends must agree because if they disagree anything that is even close to what an IITian said then they are EVIL and DUMB.
3. Statement made by a proud neighbor (of an IItian) at a party in order to authenticate his wife’s cooking skills: “Our neighbor’s son went to IIT and then went to IIM. He is a very good friend of ours and he keeps coming to our house because he loves Sheela’s food so much.”
4. Statement made by a stranger to reinstate that his house is worth millions or crores: “ You can get to IIT from my house in five minutes by walk.”
5. Statement made by someone who wished to study at IIT: “I was so sick on the day of the written test that I couldn’t think; otherwise I am pretty sure I would have aced the exam to get admitted into IIT.”
As you can see, there is a lot of virtue and value for IIT in India even if you don’t have a degree. They teach you two things: engineering and spending your teenage year’s sex hungry. All my life, people have been in my ass to prepare for IIT. And promptly, I have been enjoying life by not having gone through that. Now, whether I would have been a more successful person if I graduated from a certain university is like saying I would be a happier person if I had the same amount of money as Bill Clinton. One thing is crystal clear; I would definitely get a lot more sex if I was Bill Clinton than if I were to go to IIT.
Coming back to my story that kept me thinking in the first place. We had a couple over for dinner at our house. I only knew them through an acquaintance. And we were all sitting and chatting with steaming hot chai in our hands. During our conversation, the woman finds out that my dad went to IIT. Then she turns to me and asks: “So what have you done with your life?” I, on the other hand, instead of getting angry and throwing my hot chai on her made-up face so she can never look at herself in the mirror, burst out laughing. She was awestruck because she wasn’t that funny. That made me realize that among the educated Indians, there are popularly two kinds a. Ones that went to IIT and b. that wished they went to IIT. Fortunately, I am neither of those.
The American government often compliments the Indian system of education for giving more importance on Science and Math. But I appreciate the American system for allowing the individual to think independently rather than just following a herd of sheep to write software programs for bill gates. Also, they teach us to appreciate a wide set of fields which the Indian system doesn’t. In fact, if you didn’t study engineering or medicine or if you did not graduate from a prestigious institution you are pretty much considered a loser, unless you get really lucky and become a politician in India, that would be the lowest stature that any person can attain in a life time unless you have a beard and a blue turban.
As I thought about this incident, I became sad, not because I didn’t go to IIT, but because people’s perception of success and happiness are so skewed. But as I parked my car and entered my apartment building I heard two guys exchanging a conversation that totally cheered me up. Incidentally, it was related to closely what I was thinking. Yes, they were talking about sex and women, what else could it be, right?
Guy1: Did you watch the last episode?
Guy 2: Dude, I totally missed it. Fill me up on the details.
Guy 1: Nothing much to fill. I just hope my wife is like that babe on desperate housewives.
Guy2: Dude, even Clinton was not that fortunate so don’t even think about it.
Sorry Hillary, even with the face lift you don’t make the Lewinsky cut.
Bottom line, ask not what you don’t have, ask what you do with what you have and for heaven's sake stand up for yourself not your friend or neighbor or some random person who went to a random university.
Btw, IIT stands for Institute for Indian Techy’s, don’t count me on that, I might have forgotten the correct order.
posted by Mt. Heaven at 8:44 PM
3 Comments:
dude I am from IIT, and you don't know how so much I loved this piece. because it's so real.
i did not go to IIT because of any parental or neighborhood pressure, in fact every one wanted me to open a shop, but still once I was there, I know how true you sound.
and if you are actually out of both those categories, ie. went to IIT or wished to go there,
hats off to you. I wish more and more people are like that here in India.
me: informer_kumar@yahoo.co.in
sorry,
me: informer_kumar@yahoo.com
Some parts make sense while others don't.
BTw, not all IITians join SW or write codes for bill gates. You need to come to India or visit alumini site to see how IITians are doing across globe. You will find majority of them in India ofcourse and not because they didnt't have option to move to evergreen land fullof opportunity us of a.
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