The Blonde and I
Joie de vivre
Firstly, Happy New Year!!!! The first ten days of this year has been pretty interesting politically. Increased minimum wages, 20000 extra troops in Iraq, falling gas prices. The questions to follow are 1. how much is the tax going to increase by? 2. What will the rate of inflation be next year? I’m trying not worry too much about all this so lets put this behind our backs for now.
I hear a knock in my apartment this evening. It’s about 9pm on a wednessday night so it couldn’t have been those drunken frat boys who knock on every door they walk by at 3am on a Saturday night. The only possibility is that it could be a salesperson asking me if I were interested in his latest product to dilate the kidneys and bladder for a more comfortable urination time at the bathroom. Usually when i hear a knowck at the door, I creep to my front door and peep through the eye hole so the person outside would not realize that I am inside the house and if it seemed like a legitimate person I would then think about opening the door. The last time I opened the door was for a guy in his late teens who was rooting for the Democratic Party and needed donation before the congressional elections. I was proud to donate money even though I wasn’t eligible to vote at the election. Curious to see who it was this time, I crept to the front door and peeped through the hole. I saw an attractive young woman in her twenties who was blond, wore a yellow shirt and tracks.
In most circumstances, men who live by themselves would usually open the door to any attractive strange woman knocking at their door just to see what the hell the woman really wants. Men would love to think that the woman has knocked on their door either because a. May be she is stalking on him and wants to be intimate with him or b. May be she wants something more than just friendship. But unfortunately or fortunately both those options are false 99% of the time since its just our ego that talks during those times and its normal for our egocentric selves to think that we are the center of the universe.
Anyway, my egocentric self decides to open the door because that’s the normal reaction right.
Me thinking: Hmm. Okay stay cool. Be yourself. Its just a normal woman. Nothing is going to happen. Just stay calm. Just make sure buggers are sticking through my nose. My hair is fixed. And I dont stink too much. Ok cool. Now lets open the door.
Blonde: Hi. I just wanted you to know that your keys were still outside on the door lock. Just wanted you to know. That’s all.
Me: Oh Thank you. That was nice of you.
Blonde: Bye
Me Thinking: I’m an idiot.
That explains a lot about how our response signals in the brain changes for different kinds of people depending on the situation. My response would have been totally different if were for eg a guy. I might have never opened the door, thinking that it might be that lame sales person or some guy rooting for the republican party. Now is it good or bad to change responses is a different thing. Obviously, you wouldn’t want to talk to your boss like you would miss treat your wife. But definitely in certain circumstances we could try and be unbiased especially when it somes to sex, gender, religion, and other factors that one is born with.
On a completely different note, my vacation in Denver was white. No, I was not surrounded by white people all the time but there was about two feet of snow outside the house after the second big snow storm. To have a decent vacation, we either had to sled outside in the nearby hill or had to own a Hummer to commute to the nearest freeway. We decided to have fun in the least expensive and environmentally friendly way by sledding. It was actually surprisingly fun because the hill in the backyard was steep enough to make us roll over and fumble in snow. This was the first time I had actually seen or used a sled. The Sleds I had seen before were the Bob Sleds in winter Olympics and those in the movie “Cool runnings” when I secretly cried at the end of the movie. While watching the movie, I was so pissed off at the Scandinavian Bob sled team that I wanted to start my own Desi Bob sled team and show the world that South Asians were good enough to compete in the winter Olympics. Unfortunately, my desire was crushed when my family pushed me into engineering, which didn’t require the weather to be below zero for more than half the year and doesn’t require much thinking at this point of time in my career.
Coming back to sleds, we first had to make our own paths for the sleds and the more often we traversed the path, the better and smoother the trail became. But making the path was energy consuming in and of it self, especially if you didn’t want a boring straight line that just traveled from top to bottom of the hill. With the help of manual labor, a few gallons of water and a shovel, we finally managed to create a whole bunch of different paths that had smooth curves with walls by the side for extra protection and a huge bump in the bottom of the trail to basically give it a dramatic ending with a hard ass-filled memory. The temperature was a steady 25 def F and the weather was sunny. Perfect for a nice day of sledding. After a hard day of work, we returned home with ice stuck in our underpants and butts swollen from the bumps.
The rest of the vacation was spent in treating the swelling with alcohol. Since the alcohol would cause a burning sensation if applied directly on to the swollen region we decided to take it orally in adequate amounts. And now it sucks to be back to work.
Firstly, Happy New Year!!!! The first ten days of this year has been pretty interesting politically. Increased minimum wages, 20000 extra troops in Iraq, falling gas prices. The questions to follow are 1. how much is the tax going to increase by? 2. What will the rate of inflation be next year? I’m trying not worry too much about all this so lets put this behind our backs for now.
I hear a knock in my apartment this evening. It’s about 9pm on a wednessday night so it couldn’t have been those drunken frat boys who knock on every door they walk by at 3am on a Saturday night. The only possibility is that it could be a salesperson asking me if I were interested in his latest product to dilate the kidneys and bladder for a more comfortable urination time at the bathroom. Usually when i hear a knowck at the door, I creep to my front door and peep through the eye hole so the person outside would not realize that I am inside the house and if it seemed like a legitimate person I would then think about opening the door. The last time I opened the door was for a guy in his late teens who was rooting for the Democratic Party and needed donation before the congressional elections. I was proud to donate money even though I wasn’t eligible to vote at the election. Curious to see who it was this time, I crept to the front door and peeped through the hole. I saw an attractive young woman in her twenties who was blond, wore a yellow shirt and tracks.
In most circumstances, men who live by themselves would usually open the door to any attractive strange woman knocking at their door just to see what the hell the woman really wants. Men would love to think that the woman has knocked on their door either because a. May be she is stalking on him and wants to be intimate with him or b. May be she wants something more than just friendship. But unfortunately or fortunately both those options are false 99% of the time since its just our ego that talks during those times and its normal for our egocentric selves to think that we are the center of the universe.
Anyway, my egocentric self decides to open the door because that’s the normal reaction right.
Me thinking: Hmm. Okay stay cool. Be yourself. Its just a normal woman. Nothing is going to happen. Just stay calm. Just make sure buggers are sticking through my nose. My hair is fixed. And I dont stink too much. Ok cool. Now lets open the door.
Blonde: Hi. I just wanted you to know that your keys were still outside on the door lock. Just wanted you to know. That’s all.
Me: Oh Thank you. That was nice of you.
Blonde: Bye
Me Thinking: I’m an idiot.
That explains a lot about how our response signals in the brain changes for different kinds of people depending on the situation. My response would have been totally different if were for eg a guy. I might have never opened the door, thinking that it might be that lame sales person or some guy rooting for the republican party. Now is it good or bad to change responses is a different thing. Obviously, you wouldn’t want to talk to your boss like you would miss treat your wife. But definitely in certain circumstances we could try and be unbiased especially when it somes to sex, gender, religion, and other factors that one is born with.
On a completely different note, my vacation in Denver was white. No, I was not surrounded by white people all the time but there was about two feet of snow outside the house after the second big snow storm. To have a decent vacation, we either had to sled outside in the nearby hill or had to own a Hummer to commute to the nearest freeway. We decided to have fun in the least expensive and environmentally friendly way by sledding. It was actually surprisingly fun because the hill in the backyard was steep enough to make us roll over and fumble in snow. This was the first time I had actually seen or used a sled. The Sleds I had seen before were the Bob Sleds in winter Olympics and those in the movie “Cool runnings” when I secretly cried at the end of the movie. While watching the movie, I was so pissed off at the Scandinavian Bob sled team that I wanted to start my own Desi Bob sled team and show the world that South Asians were good enough to compete in the winter Olympics. Unfortunately, my desire was crushed when my family pushed me into engineering, which didn’t require the weather to be below zero for more than half the year and doesn’t require much thinking at this point of time in my career.
Coming back to sleds, we first had to make our own paths for the sleds and the more often we traversed the path, the better and smoother the trail became. But making the path was energy consuming in and of it self, especially if you didn’t want a boring straight line that just traveled from top to bottom of the hill. With the help of manual labor, a few gallons of water and a shovel, we finally managed to create a whole bunch of different paths that had smooth curves with walls by the side for extra protection and a huge bump in the bottom of the trail to basically give it a dramatic ending with a hard ass-filled memory. The temperature was a steady 25 def F and the weather was sunny. Perfect for a nice day of sledding. After a hard day of work, we returned home with ice stuck in our underpants and butts swollen from the bumps.
The rest of the vacation was spent in treating the swelling with alcohol. Since the alcohol would cause a burning sensation if applied directly on to the swollen region we decided to take it orally in adequate amounts. And now it sucks to be back to work.
posted by Mt. Heaven at 9:50 PM
4 Comments:
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