Happy Thanks giving

This year has been a year of change in every aspect of my life. And the republicans wouldn't agree more about thier lives either. Tomorrow will truly be black friday for the republicans and unfortunately the war in Iraq was the #1 topic of judgement during the senate, state and governor elections. As for Minnesota, I couldn't ask for better. The streak of success for the independant party has come to an end, hopefully. Keith Ellison, an african-american muslim man became a congressman and Amy Klobuchar, a woman, became the senator. Infact, we did create history by having a muslim win in the state elections. Forgetting all the elections results for a little while and focussing on this picture for a moment.



Can anyone tell whats going on in the minds of the characters in the above picture.
I predict
Pelosy: OOOO, Its hard to keep a smiling face in front of these suckers. All I want to do is just find a restroom and empty my bladder. I need to tighten my pelvic muscles to avoid any sort of national embarrassment.

Bush: Oh god, will I ever get to be the decider again?

Cheney: Only I know who I am taking quail hunting with me next time. Hopefully, my pacemaker doesn't act on me before that.

This will dictate the bi partisan relationship in this country. We will reallly see how the two parties will work together in this mess between iraq and increasing taxes, not to forget the global war on terror and the dependance on oil.

Google reaches $500 a share, I cant care less since I own or can afford to own a decent nu,ber of them. But I do like their icons on google.com reminding me of every holliday there is in the world, without any ethnic prejudice.

For those who are not aware, Michael Richards (Kramer in Seinfeld) has gone public about being a racist. He openly insulted a black man on his show calling him a n**** multiple times. He even said that "50 years ago he would have had a fork up his ass". I dont believe that there were some people on crack who were actually laughing at these statements in his show; simply not acceptable or funny. I'M NEVER WATCHING ANY OF KRAMER'S SHOWS AGAIN.

And this was not the first time Michael Richards has made racial slurs. He has once done it in Seinfeld itself.

Viewers throughout the United States and Puerto Rico were outraged by the racist portrayals in the May 7, 1998 episode titled "The Puerto Rican Day Parade."

In that episode the character "Kramer" sets the Puerto Rican flag on fire "accidentally." Kramer then throws the flag on the ground and repeatedly stomps on it, supposedly to put out the flames. In response, an angry crowd rocks Jerry Seinfeld's empty car. Kramer remarks, "It's like this every day in Puerto Rico."

The episode also included anti-African American and anti-gay "humor."

It goes to stay that there are some crack heads in this country that are still given importance and the opportunity to go public and make statements that offend a big group of population. We can only hope that things would change with time.

On the good side of things, today is thanks giving. One of our friend has invited us over dinner at their family's place. Those times are always good. Even if you are not eating good food, you can always enjoy the cheap prices for all the goods tomorrow. Happy Thanksgiving.

Ask what you do with what you have

Finally the devil is back again. It took me a while before I could gather the energy and enthusiasm to write an article on this blog. I am unsure if my sickness was due to the change in temperatures from the Bahamian “Pamela” tanning conditions to the Polarian “Republican” conditions that brought me down to a state of pandemic sneezing and drooling over my office furniture until my manager literally took me by the collar on a leash and dragged me out of the building giving me a paid vacation in my six by six feet bed. It was rather hard to do anything without coughing my lungs out and keeping my cat sane (as you know they are peaceful creatures that came into existence only to play the role of wrecks and hate to be the victim of one i.e. me).

So I spent a whole weekend in bed declining two offers to go to a Halloween theme party as a rock star (which might have been unusually easy in the state of condition that I was in considering my disgruntled look 24/7 with scrubby long hair that smelled of cats ass, pale food-hungry face that was whitened over time due to lack of adequate moisturizing, and most importantly under the constant dosage of Theraflu which always kept me on a pedestal just like how Homer felt when he was the first to reach the top of Mt. Everest in one of the episodes of the Simpsons. With a little bit of mascara I could have gone as Prince. That would have been a very apt thing for a Minnesotan), declining an invitation to a night’s dinner and punk rock bowling and declining another offer to go to a south indian restaurant to eat idli, vada, and ofcourse Sambar, and instead I ended up sitting like a couched potato watching the Detroit tigers loose the world series. I was also unfortunate to watch all the negative ad campaigns for the up coming election on TV. Can’t the politicians be a little more creative than that? Let’s not spoil our day dealing with that for now.

The reason why I took myself to the computer and started typing was something that got me thinking while I was driving back from work this evening. No, it was not an accident or a speeding ticket. This incident happened long ago, not so long enough that I can still remember and long enough that it doesn’t bother me anymore.

Even before I begin my story, I should give you a prefix to the story just to introduce a certain idea that might not be common in the U.S. Most Indians from India would have heard of IIT. For those of you who haven’t, no, the acronym doesn’t stand for Indians with Irritable Testicles. Upon conceiving, this is the university that an Indian parent often dreams that their kids would go to and is often proud to associate themselves in some fashion or the other. I have known mothers who fast at the time of pregnancy hoping that a. It’s a son and b. He would graduate from IIT. Fathers on the other hand, beat their sons just so he can learn a little more math to gain an advantage. God forbid, if the child was born a girl, then she will not go to IIT since the probability of finding her a husband who was more educated than her would drop to a mere 0%. Because, according to Indians, THERE IS NOTHING GREATER THAN A BACHELORS IN ENGINEERING FROM IIT.

It is understandable when you meet a snobby IT person admitting in a headstrong fashion that he graduated from IIT. But here are some unreasonable circumstances that Indians often love to associate themselves. I would put them in ascending order of the serial numbers and/or descending order of their self-respect.

1. Statement made by a proud father to the public at his daughters wedding even though the focus should be on the daughter: “My son went to IIT (his eye brows rising beyond his temples and his eyes offering a stare expecting the same out of the listeners). He then went to America and is now working for Microsoft.” That’s a stereotypical example of a proud father. If a guy achieves this status, he is the shit. Nobody can touch him. At this state, IIT will be virtually renamed Indians with Increasing testosterone.

2. Statement made by a proud friend at his college which is not IIT: “dude, my friend. Actually, my best friend (as though proclamation to the next level of friendship will add to the genuineness of his statement) is doing Mechanical Engineering at IIT. He tells me that they hardly study before exams. They must be studs man.” And of course his friends must agree because if they disagree anything that is even close to what an IITian said then they are EVIL and DUMB.

3. Statement made by a proud neighbor (of an IItian) at a party in order to authenticate his wife’s cooking skills: “Our neighbor’s son went to IIT and then went to IIM. He is a very good friend of ours and he keeps coming to our house because he loves Sheela’s food so much.”

4. Statement made by a stranger to reinstate that his house is worth millions or crores: “ You can get to IIT from my house in five minutes by walk.”

5. Statement made by someone who wished to study at IIT: “I was so sick on the day of the written test that I couldn’t think; otherwise I am pretty sure I would have aced the exam to get admitted into IIT.”


As you can see, there is a lot of virtue and value for IIT in India even if you don’t have a degree. They teach you two things: engineering and spending your teenage year’s sex hungry. All my life, people have been in my ass to prepare for IIT. And promptly, I have been enjoying life by not having gone through that. Now, whether I would have been a more successful person if I graduated from a certain university is like saying I would be a happier person if I had the same amount of money as Bill Clinton. One thing is crystal clear; I would definitely get a lot more sex if I was Bill Clinton than if I were to go to IIT.

Coming back to my story that kept me thinking in the first place. We had a couple over for dinner at our house. I only knew them through an acquaintance. And we were all sitting and chatting with steaming hot chai in our hands. During our conversation, the woman finds out that my dad went to IIT. Then she turns to me and asks: “So what have you done with your life?” I, on the other hand, instead of getting angry and throwing my hot chai on her made-up face so she can never look at herself in the mirror, burst out laughing. She was awestruck because she wasn’t that funny. That made me realize that among the educated Indians, there are popularly two kinds a. Ones that went to IIT and b. that wished they went to IIT. Fortunately, I am neither of those.

The American government often compliments the Indian system of education for giving more importance on Science and Math. But I appreciate the American system for allowing the individual to think independently rather than just following a herd of sheep to write software programs for bill gates. Also, they teach us to appreciate a wide set of fields which the Indian system doesn’t. In fact, if you didn’t study engineering or medicine or if you did not graduate from a prestigious institution you are pretty much considered a loser, unless you get really lucky and become a politician in India, that would be the lowest stature that any person can attain in a life time unless you have a beard and a blue turban.

As I thought about this incident, I became sad, not because I didn’t go to IIT, but because people’s perception of success and happiness are so skewed. But as I parked my car and entered my apartment building I heard two guys exchanging a conversation that totally cheered me up. Incidentally, it was related to closely what I was thinking. Yes, they were talking about sex and women, what else could it be, right?

Guy1: Did you watch the last episode?

Guy 2: Dude, I totally missed it. Fill me up on the details.

Guy 1: Nothing much to fill. I just hope my wife is like that babe on desperate housewives.

Guy2: Dude, even Clinton was not that fortunate so don’t even think about it.

Sorry Hillary, even with the face lift you don’t make the Lewinsky cut.

Bottom line, ask not what you don’t have, ask what you do with what you have and for heaven's sake stand up for yourself not your friend or neighbor or some random person who went to a random university.

Btw, IIT stands for Institute for Indian Techy’s, don’t count me on that, I might have forgotten the correct order.